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I'm baaaaack. Been back for a month, actually. Getting home took forever though. I almost cried on the second leg of my trip back because the plane was so cramped and I couldn't sleep and I had a headache. I was very disagreeable.

But I'm home now and over my jetlag and I'm even back at work. I work at a Senior Activity Center, mostly answering the phone and chatting with people over 50. Today was kind of slow, so I decided to make a list of things that are Better in Europe than in the US. And after it was done I started feeling patriotic and had to make a list of things that are better in the US than in Europe.

Things That are Better in Europe:

1. Peanut butter. Because in Europe, instead of peanut butter they have Nutella, which is peanut butter with a secret ingredient. The secret ingredient is awesomeness.

2. McDonald's. They are cleaner and friendlier in Europe. I ate at McDonald's more in Europe in 3 months than I have in the US in the last decade and I only felt a fraction of the guilt I do in the US.

3. The Metro. I loved the subways in Europe. They were easy to use and went everywhere. If I was homeless I would live in the subway and ride it everyday because it gives me joy. Slightly smelly joy.

4. Statues. I know we have the Statue of Liberty, but even that came from France. They have so many statues in Europe I suspect that the actual ratio of statues to people is 2:1.


Things That are Better in the USA:

1. Music. In Europe they seem to mostly recycle old US songs. There was much Katy Perry and Beyonce, which I don't mind, only I had been hearing these songs for months beforehand in the US. They get old.

2. Animal control. I lost count of the number of stray dogs and cats I saw in Europe. There were lots. Sometimes the dogs traveled in wild packs that I saw running down the streets at night. There was a cat sanctuary in Rome with about 20 stray cats who lived in some ruins in the middle of the city. I know packs of wild dogs and mysterious cat sanctuaries sound cool, but I always felt bad for the strays. And lots of homeless people used them as props. I remember one blind old man I saw on my way to school everyday who always sat on the corner with a cute blind dog.

3. Ketchup. The ketchup in Europe is brown and yucky. yuck.

4. Buses. They don't go many places in the US, but at least no one gropes you. Not so in Europe. Damn those Roman Buses.

5. Lines. I don't know why, but it seemed like no one in Spain or Italy knew how to stand in a line. Germany was a little better about it. Everyone just crowded to the front in a big group and it didn't matter how long you had been standing there, people kept trying to push in front of you. Literally pushing, like, actually touching you with the intent to propel you forward. Not cool.


But its not a contest. Both places are cool. And now it looks like I have some actual work to do, so, /end blog.