The Many Ways Zombies Have Effected Affected Infected My Life:

Most people who hear about my 'Zombie Issues' don't understand them: Well, I don't get it either, guys. Zombies freak me out completely, but I love zombie movies, books, being a zombie for Halloween, zombie flash-mobs, what have you. And despite all this love, my greatest fear is that one day I'll end up killing some poor bastard in a zombie costume.

This is a valid fear, because that's how worried I am about zombies; if one comes at me unexpectedly I'm pretty sure my reaction will be violent and negative, even though I know they don't exist. Occasionally I consider what I'd do if one of my friends or relatives decided it would be funny to sign me up for a show like Scare Tactics-outcome: not good.

And the flesh-eating undead abominations I'm afraid of aren't even an ancient legendary could-maybe-exist (like Bigfoot) type horror: George Romero invented them in the 1960's. HE MADE THEM UP AND I STILL THINK I MIGHT RUN INTO ONE SOMEDAY!

Does this make me crazy?

Maybe a little bit. But probably not any more than most Twilight fans.

Zombies don't just haunt my waking thoughts. I am unlucky enough to have recurring zombie nightmares and have for years. The first one was a bloody, gory dystopian shock, but after repeated exposure I've become accustomed to their horror. One of my most treasured zombie-nightmare memories was a dream where I heroically fought the zombie horde and even discovered the cure for zombieism (plain white bread apparently), but alas, I was too late. My parents had become zombies, and though I was immune to the zombie scourge thanks to wonder-bread, my sister was not so lucky.

At the end of the dream my zombie parents and I sat down to dinner in our dining room, the dining room window giving us a view of the street outside where zombies stumbled by and cars caught on fire, all against a blood-red sky. Then we had dinner (stew made out of my sister-sorry Sarah). BAD DREAM.

Aside from experiencing a dystopian zombie future one night out of twenty, my zombie obsession also spills over into my taste in literature and film. Name a zombie movie. I've seen it.

So...I guess I'd call myself a fan?