Mia Famiglia

I have been adopted by a family in Southern Italy. They live in Rogliano. It is a very small town with lots of hills. Our apartment is in the middle of a hill, and no matter where I walk, it is always up hill for at least half the time. On the bright side, my butt looks amazing.

Let me introduce you to my new family:

This is my youngest host brother:



He is six. He would look like Harry Potter except for the huge boogers hanging from his nose. Apparently in Italy six year olds don't blow their own noses. When his mom or dad notice him choking on his own snot they come over and hold a tissue over his nose and command him to blow. It is icky.

This is my other host brother:



He is 13. He will not eat his dinner until his Mom cuts it up and pours him water.

Kids in Italy are weird. If Italian kids lived in the Animal Kingdom they would all die before they reached maturity because they are incapable of doing anything for themselves. Anything at all. American kids would find their nests and devour them before the Italian kids could call for their parents to defend them. No wonder most Italian kids don't move out of their parent's houses till they're 30.

If my parents are reading this they just burst out laughing because they think I am incapable of doing things like laundry and cooking my own meals. I'm not saying they're wrong, but they should meet these Italian kids. They've got nothing on me.